Dharma Talks

Good morning, everyone.
Thank you for coming. We are observing the Obon Segaki Service today. Let me tell a story.

A man who lost his father 3 years ago took care of articles left behind. Then, he found out a safe which his father cherished. He lost his mother before his father so that nobody knew what was inside the safe. He called his 2 younger brothers and their wives and tried to open it. However, it was a strong safe. They could not open it and called a locksmith. While waiting for locksmith, they started to talk about old days. Their father was very strict. He never smiled to them or took them anywhere. He did not take care of them and left their mother to do it. They hated their father. The youngest brother said that their father must have saved much money in the safe. The second brother said that he saw their father do something while smirking in front of the safe at the midnight. The oldest son expected that something good must be there.

When the locksmith said that the safe was unlocked, the oldest son opened the door. What he found out first was an old examination paper with perfect marks. The youngest son exclaimed, “It is mine” and took it from his hand. What was picked up next was an old certificate. The second son yelled out, “That is mine.” A necktie was found next. The oldest son thought it looked familiar to him and then shouted, it was a gift for his father when he got his first salary. After that, many old items were found. Finally, they found a small black box. There was an old picture inside. It shows their parents and 3 boys in front of their home. The oldest son's wife started to cry and others followed. At the beginning, the oldest son could not understand why those items were kept in the safe. He was disappointed a little because there was no valuable article in there. When he understood why those items were in the safe, he too cried hard with the picture. It was the first time for him to cry before others. The locksmith said, “Excuse me, but can I leave now?” They were surprised and appreciated him.

They understood how deeply their father loved them. They were so shamed of opening the safe for something valuable and regretted talking back to their father while he was alive. The father left his children true valuables more than money.

The origin of Obon is that Mokuren, one of the ten great disciples of the Buddha saved his mother who fell into the world of hungry spirits. We can say that Obon is an event started with a child's affection for its parent. I guess the boys in the story wanted to be close to their father and do something for him unconsciously although they detested their father. An emotional backlash hid their true feelings. When they opened the safe and understood their father's affection, they opened their minds and understood their own affection for their father. I know there are many family situations. However, I also know that affection of parents to their children is the deepest. And, I believe that affection of children toward their parents is very deep too.

I want to talk about many things regarding Obon. What I want to speak about is affection of children to their parents and how they suppose to express their feelings. When I talk to people recently, I notice something. There are many people who don't want to bother their children after their death with their funeral and memorial services. Some feel that their parents did not bothering; they themselves are afraid of bothering their children. They want to minimize these events as a burden to me. I am wondering if it is good reason. Do you think that death is the end of life? Without a funeral, there is no closure.

I talked about Mokuren before. He saw through his supernatural power that his mother was in the world of hungry spirits. He confirmed that his mother was living in another world. And, he wanted to save her and asked the Buddha how to do that. The Buddha told him that he should ask all practitioners to chant the sutra and make offerings to them on the last day of summer retreat. Doing as he was told by the Buddha, his mother was saved. What important points of this story are: that there are worlds after death, that we will live our next lives in another world, and that there is a way to save deceased family.

As you understand the story of the 3 boys and the origin of Obon, children also have deep affection for their parents. What many people tell me is that they realize that they should have shown more tenderness while their parents were alive. They regretted that they could have done something more for them. They thought they could not do anything after death. But, that is not true. There are many things they can do for their parents even after death. One of them is to hold decent funeral and memorial services. If parents tell their children not to hold services, what do you think of the affection of children toward their parents? The affection cannot be expressed. Holding those services ease children's pain and sorrow since they can do something for their parents. It is unfortunate but there are some children who don't want to do anything for their parents no matter how we, ministers explain this. I would like all of you to know that there is something we can do for deceased parents. And I feel sorry if someone is not informed of it. What is more important for children? Not bothering them, or telling them how to ease their pain and sorrow?

As you understand, to attend Obon service and do Toba offering is not only for the deceased but also for the surviving family to be at peace. I hope you talk more about services to your family about your beloved ones.